Addiction- Understanding Both Sides of Heartache

How much more can be written about addiction? There are limitless stories of death, relapse, heartache and recovery throughout every form of social media. It’s unfortunate that more stories are of fallen victims and the suffering left afterward. With all that has been written, few describe the pain and suffering for those with user disorder and their connection with those also affected by the disease.
Each has their own indescribable heartache but separated by distance, minus communication, support, love and understanding only makes healing and success more difficult for each. The question becomes how we assure those involved are each working towards continued recovery. The idea of relapse diminishes as days grow to weeks, months and years. Our son has managed to remain clean by staying busy and doing what he needs to do as far meetings, working with his sponsor and the steps. It is time for him to move on but it will require our help. He is still young lacks the ability to stay focused and continually deals with mental and health issues. As parents, we feel the need to provide some help as he enters into maturity. As a young man, now in his early twenties, his time in active recovery has strengthened our belief in his abilities and those of our own.
Listening to each side of the distress of addiction from the addict and those caring can provide more insight that how much love must remain for both. There is no room for hate and anger as I so often experienced. Hate and anger makes you blind to any real solution. As a society we should be looking for cures much the same as for cancer or any other disease. I understand full well all that is involved and can only hope that a cure is not too far down the road before we lose so many young lives. I can only speak to what I myself have found to give me strength and his strength to survive. As a family, we are following our own healing process yet we have been together from the beginning. We know each is working towards healing and know without doubt there is love and understanding that precedes us and guides our behavior towards each other.
Addiction brings out the worst of us. The anger and hate for those suffering because of the addict and the lying, hurtful and deceitful circumstances of the addict themselves. There is no good behavior or actions associated with addiction. We are talking about unacceptable emotional behavior that can only result in severely damaging or ending any relationship. Open minds during these difficult times is so difficult. The active addict’s mind has chosen to think only of themselves and the means to satisfy their habit. I’m not sure anyone can define or project desperation on the part of an addict to where there is a willingness to put aside the habit and seek help. It may never happen and as result those with hope and love will need even more support to endure.
Somehow it seems there is a need to look even deeper into those cases where success resulted. I believe you will see that love and support was a contributing factor toward the reason for success. The addict gained strength from knowing that his or her family has not abandoned them. Isolation, both from the addict and the family does more harm than good especially if the final result is death of the addict. With death the addict suffers no more but those who gave up love and hope will continue to feel great pain, possibly until they themselves give up life. Healing is a result of both sides working together to reach out. Asking for help can give each a better chance of recovery. Isolation for the addict such as self-medicating, or for the family unwillingness to change or understand, makes the opportunity of success more difficult.

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